I’ve been living in my current apartment for 3 years. I’ve been in this town for 3 1/2 years. I never completely liked it here, but it is way better than where I was living before. For the past year, all I’ve thought about is moving somewhere else and moving on to bigger and better things, but when the time finally came, I wasn’t ready. I didn’t realize that I’d gotten so comfortable here. I felt safe and in control. Moving and leaving my comfort zone was very intimidating. This was something that I’ve never experienced before.
I lived in the same place for about 10 years before graduating high school and going to college. You’d think that I would’ve felt the same way back then but I was too eager to leave my hometown I guess. I also didn’t feel anything like this when I moved back to my hometown a few years later. Nor did any feelings like this surface when I moved from my hometown to where I currently live. I didn’t understand why I felt this way. Neither did B.
During the past year, B and I discussed moving numerous times. We felt it was time for a change. We talked about where we wanted to move, what type of place we’d get, what we’d do in the new city and I was excited. Those were just conversations though. In early December 2015, it became real. B was offered a software development position and he decided to take it. I didn’t really think too much about it until everything was finalized and I realized that we had to move. No more conversations.
Some of my anxiety comes from not wanting to physically move. There were a million things that needed to be done in a very short amount of time including having to pack up everything, travel to the new place and unpack everything. It’s such a chore. It’s stressful and chaotic and I didn’t want to do it. We weren’t prepared to move either. Sure, we’d discussed it, but we’d never taken any actions to prepare for it. We had less than 6 weeks to find a new place and move. I quit my job because it would’ve been impossible to do everything while working full-time. I was going to have to quit anyway, but B had to leave to start work at the new company (he came back on the weekends) so I had to make the move happen while he was gone. I still had some freelance work on the side though which was a big help.
I think most of my anxiety was due to the fact that I would be leaving my comfort zone and the stress of planning the move. I’m comfortable in this town and this apartment and a part of me didn’t want to leave which I found hard to admit. I also had to plan the move. The hardest part was finding a new place to live on such short notice. I found several places, but we ended up only looking at two and I chose the one I liked the most. It’s a really nice place although I think it’s a bit on the expensive side. I also had to change addresses, set up utilities, book the U-Haul, get boxes and packing materials and organize everything else relating to the move. It has not been fun. It has been interesting and overwhelming at times, but definitely not fun.
After thinking things over and discussing it with B, my anxiety slowly started to dissipate over the weeks and excitement took its place. New city, new place, new job, and new beginnings. I can’t wait! I plan on doing an update on the move after I’m settled in the new place.
Until next time.